Bad Movie Reviews: Starship Rising (2014)

[Esc] The Universe

Note: Spoiler Alert (not that you should really care)

Starship Rising is the result of Star Trek colliding with Star Wars at high warp, giving you what has the feel of a sci-fi themed porno with the sex scenes edited out. Apparently in this universe all one needs for space travel are some vacuum tubes and hose clamps – everything from microphones to the metal vest thingies they wear (hockey gear spray painted chrome)  for some reason is composed of similarly cheap materials.

From what little detail I could decipher out the haphazardly strung together scenes and lackadaisical acting, the plot to this masterpiece is quite pedestrian. Basically, humanity is divided into two main factions: The Federation and Terra Nostra. The former serves as the Evil Empire (complete with their very own planet destroyer), ruled by a dime store Darth Vader/Palpatine amalgamation, and latter is a religious sect who follow some sort of space Pope…

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